Quickest Remembering

At times nostalgia still overwhelms me. It sinks so deep into my bones I must question whether any movement at all is worth the trouble of experiencing more life that could potentially be reflected upon with this piercing nostalgia.

I don’t remember this trait from my previous self. Perhaps I absorbed the capacity for this intensity of remembrance from spending so much time with you. How come looking back, it’s so easy to remember the good times. Was I then, at those moments, choosing to bask in the happiness I had found myself in, instead of preparing myself for a secure future of, happiness, at risk of missing out on the present sun showers?

We melded into one at times. Everyone around us could see it. Strangers on the streets of towns we visited would shout out to us. They could see that spirit dancing in between our two bodies. We didn’t understand it yet. We were young. So we tossed golden sun drops on their lawns before skipping town.

I don’t understand the dancing spirit above, but in Northern California, there was no questioning the intense connection our roots had. Below the gray ground we traveled on, our roots twisting together, sharing space and nutrients.

There were moments of extreme bliss; extreme knowingness. There were surges of extreme fear, terror and rapid questioning of truth. All of these emotions, revolving between us, as the final connections were made, confirming the directions of our spirit, and/or life paths.

The closer our spirits and roots intertwined, the stronger our connection felt. But the stronger the connection between spirit and root became, the more distant our bodies and minds became.

What an outrages experience indeed. When that final connection is made, two directions can be the result. Insanity and / or the God state. This is because our existence is reliant on that dance between – and +. Once the final connection is made, the energy jumps to the opposite, which at this point is extreme repulsion.

But still, there remains all this space, space and motion between our prior and current beings. Will eventually enough road be traveled for me to overwrite this nostalgia with new memories?

Have you ever had to decide? Have you ever had to cut off?